Saturday, March 17, 2012

Come Out, Come Out and BE who you are!

Lizard Lick, NC -- Mr. and Mrs. Eugene and Ruth Culpepper proudly announced their daughter, Samantha Culpepper’s coming out last night at the surprise party they gave for her at the Fire Fly  Country Club on NC Highway 97.  The party that was in the planning stages for nearly a year was quite a feat to pull off according to neighbor Hildebrand Adams.

“Gene and Ruth pulled out all the stops to celebrate Sam’s acknowledgement of what they knew since she was in the third grade.”  Adams stated that, the Culpepper’s had been waiting for Sam to acknowledge her status as a lesbian for herself.  
After she told them last year that her “roommate” of 8 years was actually her girlfriend, they were elated they could finally “call a spade a spade,” Mr. Culpepper stated.
Adams went on to say that, “Its hard to celebrate important occasions and anniversaries for their daughter and her ‘roommate.’”
Adam’s said that Mrs. Culpepper has complained more than once that she would like to get them couples presents for holidays, but it is just so awkward to purchase daughter and roommate presents.  
Samantha Culpepper’s best friend from middle school, Andi Williams (no relation to the singer), stated that invitations had been sent all over the United States and Canada for the event.  As guests arrived, the Culpepper’s put up the out of town guests at the Fire Fly Inn.  
Sam’s first grade teacher, Evelyn Baker reportedly travelled the farthest to attend the event.  Baker who resides on a potato farm on Prince Edward Island, Canada flew in especially for the event.  “I have been waiting for this event for years,” the retired teacher said.  “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!”
Emilee St. Marie, Samantha’s “roommate” and finally acknowledged long time girlfriend, was part of the planning from the start.  “Mom (referring to Ruth Culpepper) and I decided that we should spring the surprise on Sam’s first anniversary of officially coming out.”
“She would never suspect anything when we asked her to meet us at the country club for dinner,” Ruth added excitedly.  “She was very surprised.”
Over 150 friends, family and “family” members attended the event.  Margie Newhurst, owner of the Fire Fly, stated that this was the biggest event in Lizard Lick since the premier of the Shirley’s towing business on “All Worked Up,” which airs on TruTV.  
Samantha Culpepper, local attorney and surprise party recipient, admitted that she was totally blown away by the event.  “It’s not everyday that your parents celebrate your coming out as a lesbian.  It was so amazing to finally slow dance with Emilee in public for the first time.”
Several locals thought the party would go down in history as the event of the year. One elderly man who did not want to be named stated that “it is about damn time that Sam did right by her girlfriend.  This roommate business is just non-sense and that’s all.”
Mrs. Culpepper stated that she hoped the two women would now turn Emilee’s ridiculous fake bedroom into a nursery.  

1 comment:

  1. Please pretty please write more of these posts! I needed cheering up this morning and this fixed my mood. My favorite of all! Great humorous writing Layla!
    What the hell is a URL?